Linda Louise Rigsbee

HomeSpun Literature is bound to please.

Monster on the Beach – Mystery

Thanks to Renee Homan Heath for 1-26-13 Friday Fictioneer's Photo Prompt!

Thanks to Renee Homan Heath for 1-26-13 Friday Fictioneer’s Photo Prompt!

Long skinny shadows across the boardwalk hastened his step. Soon the source of the groans would be concealed in darkness. Again the sound came from the beach, this time in sequential short bursts of apparent agony. The pathway curved and dropped to the white sandy beach. A long whine was followed by a deep moan. He paused, suddenly consumed with the irrational fear that a dinosaur roamed the beach. He crept around the line of dunes and gasped in horror at the huge form. Waves foamed around the gargantuan body of a beached humpback whale.

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14 thoughts on “Monster on the Beach – Mystery

  1. The description of the mysterious sounds really makes this story work. And you give us an appropriately serious end – there’s nothing supernatural happening, but there is a huge beast in terrible need of help.

    • Thanks. Years ago I told my son I didn’t write murder mysteries and he asked “what other kind of mystery is there?” He was an adult when he asked. He doesn’t like to read – possibly because he’s severely dyslexic?

      • Aim him toward Sherlock Holmes 🙂 – lots of those stories didn’t involve murders, and some didn’t even involve crimes, technically. (Though I haven’t kept up with the assorted recent Holmes series well enough to know whether or not the murderless stories were included.)

  2. If it is a humpback it is a large fellow. What a discovery to make on the beach. I usually only see broken shells or an occasional shark’s tooth.

  3. awe.. poor whale. Hoping he will be ok. Great writing!

  4. That would be a sight to come across, wouldn’t it? I liked the buildup and the surprise ‘groaner’… here it would be an Orca.

  5. great tension, I was thinking monster. way to keep your reader in suspense

  6. Hi Linda,
    A whale of a story. Sorry, couldn’t resist. You built up the suspense nicely. Ron

  7. Interesting how the night changes how we perceive the world around us.

  8. Reminds me of Icelandic saga’s where a beached whale would be a major contribution of meat, and how people fought over the carcass. Nowadays we seal to bring the poor whale back to sea.

  9. Now that’s something you don’t see every day. A beached whale. I hope your MC found someone to help the poor thing. Well done.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

  10. well done, but i wonder what caused him to think “dinosaur.” something primeval?

    this line: “Soon the source of the groans would be concealed in darkness.”

    this is a passive sentence, and many writers feel you should try like hell to avoid them. i don’t feel that way, but i won’t say the others are wrong. you can avoid it by flipping it. like this: “Soon the darkness would conceal the source of the groans.” it saves one word, which isn’t a lot, but now the thing doing the action is the subject, making for stronger action.

    but of course, it’s yours, and that’s up to you.

    • Thanks Rich. I often switch things that way. I don’t know if it is the dyslexia or just lack of knowledge. I feel that I need to take a refresher course on grammar. I wonder if there is a good book.

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